So, You want the ring?

Ok, so its been a few days and guess what?? I'M STILL MAD! Lol!

I've had some time to think about when and where Mimi got so far gone and I know Dr. Jeff spoke to her about her past relationships with men and its clear that she really hasn't found herself and her own identity.  It seems that she believes Stevie will complete her and her family some kind of way and that would be fine if Stevie J appeared as if he wanted to part of a family. 

This is where women get caught up.  You can't change a man no matter what you do. No matter how much pussy you throw, no matter how much you look through their phones, no matter how much their mother might like you and think you're the one, if that man doesn't want to change.....your out of luck.  My advice, cut your losses and move on. 

When I say move on, I don't mean stop talking to him for a while or act mad but still answer the phone and argue. I mean Move on!!  If its been a number of years and you are no closer to marriage or family, if that's your goal, then when you began, then ask yourself; what's the likelihood that he'll be marriage ready anytime soon?

You don't want to force a man's hand in marriage.  THEY WILL MARRY YOU, with no intentions of changing any behavior that may have caused problems in the past.  You might be saying, "Well why would he marry me then?"  I'll tell you why,

SO YOU WILL SHUT UP AND STOP NAGGING!!

For some men its the quickest way to get back to business as usual.  In some cases men just buy the ring and keep you on hold for some undetermined amount of time because they feel that the ring is what you wanted when really you wanted what the ring symbolizes. 

I see Mimi as a woman just like the rest of us. We want a man to call our own, we want a husband not a boy contemplating manhood.  I don't even think Stevie is in the contemplation stage.  He's so lost right now that only a professional could help him however if Stevie was offered help right now, I'm sure he would decline. Why?  Because he doesn't see his lifestyle and choices as being a problem.  For Mimi that spells a lifetime of misery and I'm begging Mimi and all women not to purposely sign up for that.

Focus on self and growth.  When your heart, mind and spirit are unified, you attract the same. I believe that's what Mimi wants but isn't sure how to get there.  Plus, Stevie J is so ingrained her mind that it would take a lot of inner work to get that stench off. 

Tina Turner got Ike out of her system, Mimi can get Stevie J out too!

So again Mimi and all my ladies out there, "What's love got to do with it?"  If a man is treating you like yesterdays news then make him tomorrow's headline, EXTRA EXTRA, WE'RE THROUGH!!!

Did you see Love and Hip Hop, Season 2, Episode 1! For Real Mimi!?!

Ok, so this whole blog is starting over Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta Season 2: episode 1

I missed the premier so the next day my sister (love her dearly) calls me the next night and says, "You HAVE to watch the episode online, your not going to believe this foolishness." So she tells me a little of the nonsense and not surprisingly most of it centered around Stevie J, Mimi and Ms. Joseline Hernandez (I neglected to leave the 'Ms.' off for Mimi on purpose and you'll understand why in a minute if you decide to stay with me.)

Anyway, I wasn't engaged in anything super productive at that moment so I decided to cue it up. I have to say I wasn't really into it until about the last fifteen minutes.  The prior 45 minutes highlight the other cast members and storylines.  If you don't follow the show, I would say that if your like me, you think a little trash tv is good for entertainment purposes; this show could be called upon to fulfill that need on occasion. 

In a nutshell, during the last fifteen minutes Ms. Joseline walks into Stevie's house with a key, addresses Mimi as "Maid" and says, "I see you got on your maid outfit like you always do."

I can't even address what happened next yet because I didn't even see it until I played it back again.  My jaw was dropped to the floor.

Before I go off on Mimi let me just say my opinion comes from working with people with a range of mental health issues and empowering them to find strength within themselves to make positive changes in their lives.  I believe EVERYONE can do better if they have the desire.

If after seeing this episode someone simply asked me, "What do you think about Mimi?"
My reply would be,

"Mimi is a fraud. She is masquerading as a 'strong black woman' and clearly she is not. Lets establish some truths;

-Mimi has been around for 15 years
-Stevie J has probably been unfaithful for just about the same

'Mimi, its been 15 years, what are you expecting to happen at this point? Furthermore, knowing what you know about Stevie do you really want him for life?'  I fail to understand her mental state. Not only has she been publicly humiliated and disrespected by Stevie on numerous occasions, he got Joseline pregnant in season 1.  I mean what else does she want this man to do to her? I'm so upset with Mimi because this is a perfect example of how not to conduct yourself should you end up in a similar situation. In my opinion the situation should have never escalated to this point but I think Mimi has what I call that "Dumb B*tch Syndrome"

What some women seem to not fully comprehend is that once someone has gotten comfortable with treating you a certain way you have to make drastic changes to counteract that behavior and most of the time that involves the woman leaving the situation completely and trying to find themselves.  That's exactly what Mimi needs to do. Stevie J has already stated on more than one occasion that 'he is who he is' which from my observation is a womanizer with serious 'mommy' issues and a rumored drug addict. 

Think about this, at the end of the episode Mimi is so upset and crying she calls Stevie all kinds of names including 'junkie'.  So in fact, your letting a 'junkie' treat you dirt? 

Bottom line, I need Mimi to grow a pair!  Mimi should have met Joseline at the door with every intention of knockin her in the head as soon as she opened her mouth.  Normally I would not encourage any sort of violence however you have to make your expectations known and sometimes a little violence just drives home the point.

Now a brief word on Ms. Joseline; she is doing her thing out there but no, she's by no means supported in how she is coming for Mimi but you have to give her credit for being honest and speaking the truth. If only Mimi would confront some truths maybe she could move on and be happy. 

Ladies, never give in so completely to a man that you forget who you are or neglect to even find out who you are.  Taking time to learn and know yourself will only enhance the relationship that you want so badly once your in it. Neglecting to do so is hurtful to you and spells trouble ahead for your relationship. 

I'm gone let my blood pressure come down some because Mimi, girl, I'm so tired of you.