GIRL, GO SOMEWHERE! No, LITERALLY, GO SOMEWHERE....

Hey folks, I know its been a little  while but Love and Hip Hop has just had my blood pressure up so I decided in the interest of my own health I would not write about them for now.....but I did do a YouTube video about it LOL, check it out Love and Hip Hop 6/17

Anyway, I'm starting this post off with this picture for a reason.  I just want to share a passion of mine and hope that it catches on in our community.  The above picture is a Rose window at Chartre Cathedral located just outside of Paris, France.

When I was 16 years old I was fortunate and blessed enough to be able to travel to Paris and its surrounding cities and walk through this very Cathedral and take my own pictures of the historical architecture and believe me it was such a wonder.  Although I was there with friends and we had a lot of fun, it was educational in nature and believe it or not, I've never forgotten all of the people, sights and sounds and history that I was a part of.  Traveling is a necessity.  Now, most people will probably say, I can't afford it.  In some cases, that might be true however if I was to take a look at your current budget I could probably squeeze the money out of your Weave, mani-pedi, everyday latte money.  Yes I went there. Don't get me wrong, I love a good weave and I get mani-pedi's too and I love Starbucks, but if I had an opportunity to travel to another country and could get there by temporarily sacrificing any or all of these extras then I wouldn't hesitate.  I want this idea to catch on in our community.  I want my close friends and family and anyone else who wants to see the world before they die to seriously consider trying to make their travel dreams come true.

What does travel do for you? Well, aside from it being a great, exotic, getaway, you will come away with memories and stories that will last you a lifetime.  Stories to tell your kids, stories to tell at work, stories to tell your potential boss at a job interview.  Truth is, everyone likes a well-rounded, traveled, individual.  I can't tell you how many brows raised when Paris or Rome was thrown into a conversation and I was able to say, yes I traveled there when I was a teen.  Just the look of surprise was good enough for me, even if I didn't get the job. I believe what it said to whomever I was talking to is that hey, I'm no dummy and I've been further than the end of the block in my own neighborhood.  I don't want to be an "Around the way, girl", I want to be an "Around the WORLD girl"!

So, take an interest in travel.  Look on a map, do a google search and learn something new about someplace new.  It will open your mind and the next thing you know the Travel Bug will have you in its grips and you won't want it to let go. I see a tour of the Amalfi Coast in my future and believe me I'm saving my pennies...Roll with me, if you think you can handle it...BEWARE, its not for the faint of heart.

When you KNOW what you DON'T LIKE, STOP LIKING IT!

This is my saying for those who find themselves reliving the same experiences from one relationship to the next.  There's always a "next" because those same things that broke up your last relationship are the same ones that will break up your current one....and the one after, unless you take steps to prevent that.

If you know you didn't like the fact that the last brotha wasn't working, then you aren't going to like the fact that this one isn't either. If you didn't like the fact that your last man didn't have a car and you had to drive everywhere, my hunch is that you'll soon grow tired of playing chauffeur to this one too.  So why spend the time? Look deeper.  Why do you regularly pick these men that seem to have these issues, and then find yourself frustrated and upset?  Is it that you feel lonely? Do you feel incomplete when not in a relationship?  What connection, if any, do you feel you really have with this person?  All these questions help us to grow in understanding ourselves and how we get to what we really desire. 

Being a nurturer, I too have been caught up in trying to do my part in relationship but somehow crossing over the line and assuming roles and responsibilities that should have belonged to my partner.  I was able to sustain for a while but then, I got tired.  Once I gave up those extra responsibilities the relationship either thrived or it ended or in some cases both.  Ultimately, everyone has a role to play.  I believe after a certain age boys should try to be men. It happens sooner rather than later for some, and for some it never happens, its the luck of the draw.  It happens in due time for every individual.  We are superwomen like Alicia Keys said, but we just don't have the ability to speed up time and make our partners realize the importance of, I don't know, having a job and a car. 

So, when figure out what you don't like, never settle for it again. If you find yourself in a relationship and realize, uh oh, I'm liking what I don't like, STOP! Go immediately to your best friend and talk it out over drinks and then plan your exit.  :) It's not worth getting your blood pressure up.