When it comes to relationships, I feel like I have to break it down a little further for some of you that are trying your hardest to be with someone. I'm the best person to do this because a big part of my personal and professional career revolves around knowing and studying human patterns and behavior. Yes, I can get scientific but I won't because that would be lost on some so I will try to keep it simple.
There are a lot of dating questions floating through the atmosphere and yes, it is a lot to take in because choosing a mate is serious business. Even choosing who to date is serious business and can make you really frustrated. So here are some tips to help you along.
1. Beauty
Those of you who are really worried about height, weight and attractiveness really need to put that in perspective. If you are looking for a man, you want to know who he is and what his goals are. Don't care that he's not your preferred height, care about whether he is on his way somewhere or too busy trying to look good. I'm not saying be with someone who isn't attractive to you but beware that you aren't looking over a decent person because he doesn't meet your height requirement. Funny, you have a height requirement and no job requirement. Fix it.
2. Age
The age question has come up several times in the last few weeks. How old is too old? How young is too young? These questions can be answered in several different ways. Personally, I don't think age is a factor until you start to compare what you want with what you have. For instance, dating a younger man has its benefits just as dating an older man has benefits but it depends on what you are looking for at the time. You have to understand the stages of human development to make this work for you and have fun doing it. For example, if I choose to date a man that's 19 then I can expect that I'm going to be paying for stuff and competing with things that a 19 year old wants to do. You might say well then what's the benefit? Well, ask yourself what else can you get from a 19 year old? Think on it....
3. Kids
For those that have kids, I feel for you. All I can say is that your kids should come first and if you are with someone or dating someone who isn't being a father and role model to their own kids don't count on them being that for yours. That's a battle that I wouldn't advise engaging in. It can get ugly and your kids caught in the middle. Be cautious.
4. Geography
Look past your immediate location. Venture out. Read my post "Girl, go somewhere" for tips on this. Your man might not live on your block or in your neighborhood or even in your state. If you're having trouble dating or finding the right kind of guy for you, widen your net. I've recently come to the realization that maybe my man's name is Jean-Claude or Alejandro...who knows...but I haven't been to Mexico or Europe in recent years but I'm open to the possibilities. Time will tell. It's on my to do list.
Those are just a few things to be mindful of as you enter or re-enter the dating scene. There are tons of other things to be, do and say but I won't go into it here. You need to digest what's been said already and see how your current method of attracting and meeting eligible men measures up. I'm sure there is at least one of these items that needs to be revisited in your life and adjustments made.
Now, I really don't consider myself to be 'too picky' but I will say that there are people that I just don't have time for and that I am reasonably sure will add nothing to my life, therefore I don't bother trying to date them. After the age of 30 you just know what's going to work and what isn't.
If you haven't figured out who YOU are already, then you don't need to be dating anyone if you are currently single. I hope that doesn't sound harsh but some of the relationships I learn about make me cringe. If you are in an unhappy relationship then this might be part of the problem. You may be suffering because you have yet to learn what real happiness feels like. If you don't know that, then how can you recognize it from your partner? Food for thought.
So, I'm encouraging you to be picky but realistic. Find the person who is right for you. It's work though. If you're lazy about it, you will surely not find what you're looking for. Its amazing to me how long us women can take to buy the right outfit, right car, etc but take the first man that comes along and smiles at us.....Girl, Stop it!! That's what makes me tired of you!
It's ok to NOT give someone your phone number just because they asked. It's ok to say no is all I'm saying. Work on you so that when you are ready to jump out there and find 'THE ONE' you will save yourself a lot of wasted time, disappointment and frustration. You might even have fun.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Previous Love and Hip Hop Episodes
So here is where I am with most of the characters on Love and Hip Hop; Atlanta
I'm really upset with Rasheeda's husband. He was so insensitive to his wife after hearing that she was pregnant. I commented on a friend's news feed that there has to be more to the story or why would he have such an extreme response to a delicate situation? I think asking or telling, rather, your wife to have an abortion because of inconvenient timing is ludicrous. I agreed with her when she told him he was acting crazy. I think I would have to separate from him for a while to see if he got his head on straight. I would think that after being in a relationship for 13 years I would deserve a little more than a trip to the abortion clinic, driven by my own husband. How sad is that? I can't help but shake my head. I expected more. Rasheeda is just too beautiful to even have to go through that. Sad.
Traci and Drew. Traci completely lost me when she flipped the script on Drew's business skills after he lost her half of the investment money. And since she didn't say, "you gave him $25K?" She said 50K which makes me inclined to believe that she probably gave up the entire 50 with him giving her back $25K once the business was successful. The other reason I think she fronted the bill was because Drew just wasn't mad enough about losing money whether it was 25k or 50k. If I lose $5...I'M MAD! LOL
But since she entered into the agreement under false pretenses, now she's in the hole. She just wants to be all in Drew's face and he doesn't even fake interest. Would you give someone like that 25k? I wouldn't give someone like that 25 cents. Her sister hit the nail on the head when she brought to light that if Traci wanted to open a store she could do that without Drew, which is true. So, why did she do it? According to her, Drew was successful in his business ventures but everyone else could see that she just wanted to be close to Drew and have a reason to be in face for no apparent reason. Now that he made a worse than rookie business move, his business skills always been shaky. Come on, even I know that money does not change hands until everyone has agreed and signed on the dotted line. That's not shaky business skills, that's non-existent business skills. LOL
Even though she was crying on the show I couldn't help but giggle that the plan backfired. I'm not making fun of her pain I just don't sympathize with women who try to be undercover chasing a man. Your transparent. Just stop. You look foolish to your friends and family and its just no good for your self-esteem when the house of cards comes tumbling down. Traci needs to get focused on something else other than Drew. He's not even that cute LOL
K. Michelle, K. Michelle, K. Michelle...I just don't know what to say. In the beginning I felt like she was kind of real in a ghetto way and now I just think she REAL loud. Her tone and volume immediately turn you off from even wanting to hear what she has to say. And she actually might be saying something someone needs to hear.
Dear K. Michelle,
Lower the volume.
Thanks in advance,
Crusading Black Woman
Did Joseline tell Che Mac to crank her braces?? I'm STILL dying laughing over that one. Joseline is still holding on strong and Stevie j was right, he created that monster.
Stevie, Joseline and Mimi, well you know how I feel about Mimi. I could just do without her. So I will leave her alone for moment, until my next post since I'm kind of behind.
Thus far the show has not disappointed and I hope the drama continues. Real life is just too depressing to be consumed with it 24/7. At least Love and Hip-Hop is good for a laugh or two on Monday nights after a long day of working.
Stay tuned for what's next!!
Leave a comment if you dare!!
I'm really upset with Rasheeda's husband. He was so insensitive to his wife after hearing that she was pregnant. I commented on a friend's news feed that there has to be more to the story or why would he have such an extreme response to a delicate situation? I think asking or telling, rather, your wife to have an abortion because of inconvenient timing is ludicrous. I agreed with her when she told him he was acting crazy. I think I would have to separate from him for a while to see if he got his head on straight. I would think that after being in a relationship for 13 years I would deserve a little more than a trip to the abortion clinic, driven by my own husband. How sad is that? I can't help but shake my head. I expected more. Rasheeda is just too beautiful to even have to go through that. Sad.
Traci and Drew. Traci completely lost me when she flipped the script on Drew's business skills after he lost her half of the investment money. And since she didn't say, "you gave him $25K?" She said 50K which makes me inclined to believe that she probably gave up the entire 50 with him giving her back $25K once the business was successful. The other reason I think she fronted the bill was because Drew just wasn't mad enough about losing money whether it was 25k or 50k. If I lose $5...I'M MAD! LOL
But since she entered into the agreement under false pretenses, now she's in the hole. She just wants to be all in Drew's face and he doesn't even fake interest. Would you give someone like that 25k? I wouldn't give someone like that 25 cents. Her sister hit the nail on the head when she brought to light that if Traci wanted to open a store she could do that without Drew, which is true. So, why did she do it? According to her, Drew was successful in his business ventures but everyone else could see that she just wanted to be close to Drew and have a reason to be in face for no apparent reason. Now that he made a worse than rookie business move, his business skills always been shaky. Come on, even I know that money does not change hands until everyone has agreed and signed on the dotted line. That's not shaky business skills, that's non-existent business skills. LOL
Even though she was crying on the show I couldn't help but giggle that the plan backfired. I'm not making fun of her pain I just don't sympathize with women who try to be undercover chasing a man. Your transparent. Just stop. You look foolish to your friends and family and its just no good for your self-esteem when the house of cards comes tumbling down. Traci needs to get focused on something else other than Drew. He's not even that cute LOL
K. Michelle, K. Michelle, K. Michelle...I just don't know what to say. In the beginning I felt like she was kind of real in a ghetto way and now I just think she REAL loud. Her tone and volume immediately turn you off from even wanting to hear what she has to say. And she actually might be saying something someone needs to hear.
Dear K. Michelle,
Lower the volume.
Thanks in advance,
Crusading Black Woman
Did Joseline tell Che Mac to crank her braces?? I'm STILL dying laughing over that one. Joseline is still holding on strong and Stevie j was right, he created that monster.
Stevie, Joseline and Mimi, well you know how I feel about Mimi. I could just do without her. So I will leave her alone for moment, until my next post since I'm kind of behind.
Thus far the show has not disappointed and I hope the drama continues. Real life is just too depressing to be consumed with it 24/7. At least Love and Hip-Hop is good for a laugh or two on Monday nights after a long day of working.
Stay tuned for what's next!!
Leave a comment if you dare!!
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