Ok, I know that was harsh but no woman deserves to be cheated or mistreated and I can't for the life of me figure out why people stay. If you can shed some light on it, hit me at norikajackson@gmail.com. Your responses will be confidential.
I get so upset about this and I don't know why because, to my knowledge, I've never been cheated on. I'm outraged though, at those who cheat so boldly and continue to have someone at home waiting for them. If that someone is you, I encourage you to rethink the situation and make some hard decisions.
I couldn't imagine a scenario where my boyfriend/husband's sidepiece is calling me at work, or he's not coming home until late or sometimes not at all for days at a time, or spending money I KNOW he does NOT have on another chick. I could go on and on with the things I've heard but you get the picture.
My question is, once you have forgiven him and stayed and maybe come to a resolution, what have you gained? You've been humiliated and degraded and stepped on and if you have children...Lord help them.
If you feel your unable to leave then seek the counsel of a professional to identify those barriers and come up with a plan. Please stop getting jerked around. Put your foot down. Make your REQUIREMENTS for staying in the relationship known and if he doesn't try to meet them then KEEP IT MOVING!
Many of us stay in messed up situations because that's all we know. Do yourself a favor and learn something new. I know your just as tired of your cheating man as I am. Do something about it. Now some fellow Christians may be upset at what I'm about to say but its how I feel. I would never counsel someone to stay in a broken relationship, especially where they are in harms way and pray about it. I would tell you to pray about it however I believe that can be done while the couple is separated. This is so both parties can clear their minds and focus on the task at hand IF that's the desire of BOTH parties.
Again ladies you can't fix the relationship by yourself. So while your getting counseling and praying and trying to still be a good wife or girlfriend, your man is still out foolin' around and not taking anything seriously. Keep in mind you can't speed up maturity. And you can't make a man be a man before he's ready. BUT you CAN help the process. How, you say?
By holding yourself in high-esteem and not taking nothin' off nobody!! Men always want what they can't have. Let them know they can't have you unless they meet some requirements. A man will always do his very best to make his woman know that he is in love and if he's not he's slippin'.
NO MAN ON EARTH, is worth sustaining lifelong mental, physical and emotional scars. God would not want that for you, you shouldn't want that for yourself. Put you first and let your man see, 'I love you, but I love me more.'
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta: See what happens when you get a ring? You act Simple!
*Sigh.... Here we go
Erica, Erica, Erica.......WHY???
I was highly disappointed in her behavior on last night's episode. She was actually making progress with Scrappy and she just threw it all away. I'm starting to wonder if she's purposely sabotaging her relationship. I don't know why she would do that, but I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of it. :)
This relates to an earlier post called, 'So you want the ring' and its a perfect example of why men are so reluctant to give their woman a ring in the first place. With her actions she just made it that much harder for the next woman to get where she's trying to go which is to the alter.
I'm watching this episode and I'm really feeling Scrappy trying to man-up and do what he wants to do. Good for him. That's what we want all men to do. Then I see her go ballistic and I'm stunned because I'm like, wait, he just stood up for you like you've been complaining about and you can't even take the win and shut the hell up! Now you wanna FLEX?!?
And what happened? GIMME MY RING BACK!! lmao
Everybody I just CAN'T
A ring does not give you any special powers or privileges. It's simply a man stating, 'I intend to marry you and make you my wife.' It does NOT give you license to act like a jackass. In doing that Erica just gave Mama Dee MORE ammo against her. She NEVER liked Erica and she fell right into her trap. I don't know how Scrap is feeling right now but I don't know how Erica can come back. In my opinion she needs to talk with Scrap one on one and apologize. Then she needs to talk with Mama Dee ONE TIME one on one and let her feelings be known and carry on with her life. Mama Dee is crazy. I've always laughed when people try to reason with the mentally ill. It's like trying to argue with a drunk person, pointless. Erica even said herself that she's been dealing with Mama Dee for a long time. So, did she think her ring gave Mama Dee back her sensibilities?? I don't know but I'm here to tell you that a ring is merely a piece of jewelry. It doesn't perform miracles.
Moving on. Then she jumps up and starts acting like a real hood rat. I don't condone domestic violence in any way shape or form but had scrappy slapped the ____ out of her, I couldn't say anything. I'm glad ALL he did was push her. I would hope she learned to keep her hands to herself. Women kill me jumpin in a ____ face and then callin the police. Now you need help because he done knocked your weave crooked. Girl, stop playin'.
I believe Scrappy was on to something when he said to Erica that it would please her for him to disrespect his mother. I think he was right. That's not cool. A woman should NEVER want her man to disrespect his own mother. If he does then he won't hesitate to disrespect you and YOURS.
All this time she's been saying Scrappy doesn't stand up for her but that's what he's been doing and she's too caught up in her ring and wedding to notice. Now she's given Mama Dee a big gap to squeeze Shay through. Sorry Erica you just gave up this round. This should have been a battle you won to help you win the War. This loss may have cost you the War. All the years you put up with stuff would be for nothing. Sad.
We cry about wanting a man but then refuse to let the one we have BE ONE. Check yourself ladies. Men don't need a second mother.
I'm not gonna spend much time on Mama Dee but a lot of people are blaming her for the incident and I disagree. Like I said, I knew Mama Dee was crazy from jump anytime your a grown*ss woman and you talkin about some 'Prince of South' and the kingdom isn't running well.....OMG she needs meds. So, she just needs to get a life of her own and let Scrappy live his and I believe he's trying to get there his own way and these simple females he got in his life are just plain screwing it up.
I guess that's it for now....I don't have the strength to get on Joseline and her comment about Benzino. I'm still laughing.
Take away - Try letting your man be a man, you might be pleasantly surprised
Erica, Erica, Erica.......WHY???
I was highly disappointed in her behavior on last night's episode. She was actually making progress with Scrappy and she just threw it all away. I'm starting to wonder if she's purposely sabotaging her relationship. I don't know why she would do that, but I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of it. :)
This relates to an earlier post called, 'So you want the ring' and its a perfect example of why men are so reluctant to give their woman a ring in the first place. With her actions she just made it that much harder for the next woman to get where she's trying to go which is to the alter.
I'm watching this episode and I'm really feeling Scrappy trying to man-up and do what he wants to do. Good for him. That's what we want all men to do. Then I see her go ballistic and I'm stunned because I'm like, wait, he just stood up for you like you've been complaining about and you can't even take the win and shut the hell up! Now you wanna FLEX?!?
And what happened? GIMME MY RING BACK!! lmao
Everybody I just CAN'T
A ring does not give you any special powers or privileges. It's simply a man stating, 'I intend to marry you and make you my wife.' It does NOT give you license to act like a jackass. In doing that Erica just gave Mama Dee MORE ammo against her. She NEVER liked Erica and she fell right into her trap. I don't know how Scrap is feeling right now but I don't know how Erica can come back. In my opinion she needs to talk with Scrap one on one and apologize. Then she needs to talk with Mama Dee ONE TIME one on one and let her feelings be known and carry on with her life. Mama Dee is crazy. I've always laughed when people try to reason with the mentally ill. It's like trying to argue with a drunk person, pointless. Erica even said herself that she's been dealing with Mama Dee for a long time. So, did she think her ring gave Mama Dee back her sensibilities?? I don't know but I'm here to tell you that a ring is merely a piece of jewelry. It doesn't perform miracles.
Moving on. Then she jumps up and starts acting like a real hood rat. I don't condone domestic violence in any way shape or form but had scrappy slapped the ____ out of her, I couldn't say anything. I'm glad ALL he did was push her. I would hope she learned to keep her hands to herself. Women kill me jumpin in a ____ face and then callin the police. Now you need help because he done knocked your weave crooked. Girl, stop playin'.
I believe Scrappy was on to something when he said to Erica that it would please her for him to disrespect his mother. I think he was right. That's not cool. A woman should NEVER want her man to disrespect his own mother. If he does then he won't hesitate to disrespect you and YOURS.
All this time she's been saying Scrappy doesn't stand up for her but that's what he's been doing and she's too caught up in her ring and wedding to notice. Now she's given Mama Dee a big gap to squeeze Shay through. Sorry Erica you just gave up this round. This should have been a battle you won to help you win the War. This loss may have cost you the War. All the years you put up with stuff would be for nothing. Sad.
We cry about wanting a man but then refuse to let the one we have BE ONE. Check yourself ladies. Men don't need a second mother.
I'm not gonna spend much time on Mama Dee but a lot of people are blaming her for the incident and I disagree. Like I said, I knew Mama Dee was crazy from jump anytime your a grown*ss woman and you talkin about some 'Prince of South' and the kingdom isn't running well.....OMG she needs meds. So, she just needs to get a life of her own and let Scrappy live his and I believe he's trying to get there his own way and these simple females he got in his life are just plain screwing it up.
I guess that's it for now....I don't have the strength to get on Joseline and her comment about Benzino. I'm still laughing.
Take away - Try letting your man be a man, you might be pleasantly surprised
Thursday, May 2, 2013
I’m gonna talk about YOUR kids!
I do nooooot
like your kids! Ooooh I’m so tired of them, talk about Ratched lol
Ok parents;
let me talk to you all for a second. I
think its time for a little disclosure on my part which is for those that don’t
know me personally, I do not have children.
Its never really been my desire to have children so I took
precautions. If I’m ever to have kids I
want it to be with whomever I’m married to period. That’s just my
requirement. The circumstances that led
up to you being a parent matters little now.
Now, the question is what are you gonna do with these people that you
made?
Your kids
don’t know how to act and that’s your fault.
Your kids don’t value an education, also your fault. Your kids don’t respect authority and that’s
DEFINITELY your fault. Your kids are
spoiled and guess what? Yep, that’s your fault too. Now if your kids aren’t any of the above then
this message isn’t for you. In fact, I
may ask the good parents to say ‘Amen’ once I’m through. If your kids are one or more of the above and
they are under 18 years of age then this message is for you and I’m going to
try to help you redeem yourself.
Those that
might be offended are probably saying I don’t know what I’m talking about
because I don’t have kids. The fact
remains that I could be a better parent than you just based on what I’ve READ
about children. Believe me, some of you
could benefit from a parenting class or two.
So let me
throw in an extreme example. I love
Maury! Anyway, I’m sure you’ve all seen his shows about out of control teens
etc. One guest was there with her
daughter who was 14 or 15 and she was there crying and talking about her baby
girl and how this wasn’t the daughter that she knew and all that jazz. So they cut to the backstage shot of the
teen. She’s wearing some horrendous
outfit that looked it was made by ‘Hookers United’ and she has purple hair
mixed with her blonde hair. When they
cut back to the mom I notice she has hot pink hair mixed with her blonde
hair. Instantly, I had no sympathy. My question to the mother would be, “Is she
trying to be like you or are you trying to be like her?”
Stop trying
to be your child’s friend. Its making
you look like you don’t care. The point I want to make is that you can be your
child’s friend later on in life after you’ve gotten them to adulthood. My mother wasn’t my friend until I was
grown. Before I was grown, she and my
father were the authority, period. Now
that I’m an adult she’s my best friend.
I’m thankful that she let God lead her and help her be the parent that
she is, for my sake.
Children
need structure and discipline. They will
make friends at school. You don’t really need to be one right now. My mother made the final decision and I didn’t
have to like the outcome. Stop flipping
out when your child cries because they can’t have something or do something
they want to do. They will be OK. Life is full of disappointments. They need to get used to that and understand,
yes you feel sad, angry or whatever but that feeling passes and you move on to
something else. When life disappoints you,
it’s not the end of the world. You don’t
have to kill yourself or other people because your upset that things didn’t go
your way. Sound familiar? Your lunatics of today were once somebody’s
children.
It’s so much more important to foster and nurture in them the belief that they can overcome. Look at the times we live in right now. The news is absolutely depressing. Don’t let your child raise themselves, don’t let the media, politics, or what’s ‘trending’, raise YOUR child. Instill your morals and values, and if you don’t have any, GET SOME. Help your child become more than what’s expected because, I don’t know if you heard, the current expectation is that your kid is likely to end up in jail.
It’s so much more important to foster and nurture in them the belief that they can overcome. Look at the times we live in right now. The news is absolutely depressing. Don’t let your child raise themselves, don’t let the media, politics, or what’s ‘trending’, raise YOUR child. Instill your morals and values, and if you don’t have any, GET SOME. Help your child become more than what’s expected because, I don’t know if you heard, the current expectation is that your kid is likely to end up in jail.
Its fine to
allow your child to grow, express themselves and become who they are however
keep in mind that they have to be able to survive in this world without
you. They have to also learn the rules
to the game of life and how to play to win.
When was the last time your boss encouraged you to express yourself at
the office? Not NEVA! So teach your kid
about what’s appropriate at home and what’s appropriate outside of home.
I could go
on and on but before I make this too long I’ll leave you with this;
Your children are a reflection of you and
your priorities. If your child is 4
years old and has jordan’s, lebron’s, a cell phone and ipod but can’t talk
worth a damn, YOUR IN VIOLATION. You
need to rethink some things.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Alright Ms. Martha! Let the people know!
This little story made me smile this morning so I want to give a little honor to Ms. Martha Stewart. :) I know some people are like, really Norika? lol Bare with me but you can learn a little something from Ms. Martha, who at 71 has a dating profile on Match.com. For those that didn't see Extra, Martha Stewart launched a dating profile on Match.com and spoke about it on a talk show. It's creating a buzz because well, I mean, she's 71.....lol Initially, I'm sure that's what everyone was thinking because that's what I was thinking.....initially. I didn't even realize she was 71 but given her past I was like Martha; go somewhere, sit down and spend your money, sweetie. It's ok. You went to jail, and you CAME BACK, you made your mark, fade to black. lol
Then I quickly realized that Martha had a plan. So many of us lack that....a plan. It occurred to me that Martha probably had thoughts about her age as well but she didn't let that discourage her. In addition to that, Martha already knew the odds. They are not in her favor when it comes to finding love. In fact at the end of the segment the host says, "For every 100 single women in America, there are only 89 single men." I don't believe that even accounted for someone Martha's age but Martha did her homework!! What I want you to hear is...
DON'T SUCCUMB TO THE CHALLENGE, MAKE A PLAN, AND PLOW THROUGH!!!
Martha just told the world, I'm 71 and I'm gettin' one of the 89, now deal wit me! You just can't be mad at that. I'm all for her, go ahead Ms. Martha!
Now in all seriousness, let me go ahead and ruin your day by throwing some realness out there. Even with those odds, Martha is still more likely to find love than a black woman. I know that's tough to swallow but I'm not gonna just leave that lump in your throat, you can do what Martha did. There's hope.
First of all, accept the odds. Martha did. She just didn't let it knock her out of the running. She can't change the odds however by going public she just opened up her dating pool to the WORLD!
Am I telling you to run and plaster your face all over the internet on every dating website? NO!! I'm merely suggesting that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Make a plan, think about what your options are. If your looking for love, are you doing anything to increase the chances that you will attract the man you want? If you said, "Well, I'm waiting for God to send me my man." You probably don't even know what to ask God to send you....I'm tired of you too. I'll save that for later. But I'll say this, instead of saying God send me a man, say God help me be who you want me to be so I'll be ready for the one you created for me, IF that is your will. Face it, everyone is not destined to be married.
At the end of the day Martha may not find a mate no matter how many responses she gets but at the very least, she will get some responses, meet some good people, have a few laughs, and come away with some good stories to tell...all at 71.
So if your single and you think you can compete with Martha I say step your game up and get out there. If you keep ending up in bad relationships maybe you need to take a time out and figure out what's really going on. It can save you some time, energy and emotion.
Pursue YOU, not a RELATIONSHIP! CHANCES ARE, WHEN YOU FIND YOU, SO WILL YOUR MAN!
Then I quickly realized that Martha had a plan. So many of us lack that....a plan. It occurred to me that Martha probably had thoughts about her age as well but she didn't let that discourage her. In addition to that, Martha already knew the odds. They are not in her favor when it comes to finding love. In fact at the end of the segment the host says, "For every 100 single women in America, there are only 89 single men." I don't believe that even accounted for someone Martha's age but Martha did her homework!! What I want you to hear is...
DON'T SUCCUMB TO THE CHALLENGE, MAKE A PLAN, AND PLOW THROUGH!!!
Martha just told the world, I'm 71 and I'm gettin' one of the 89, now deal wit me! You just can't be mad at that. I'm all for her, go ahead Ms. Martha!
Now in all seriousness, let me go ahead and ruin your day by throwing some realness out there. Even with those odds, Martha is still more likely to find love than a black woman. I know that's tough to swallow but I'm not gonna just leave that lump in your throat, you can do what Martha did. There's hope.
First of all, accept the odds. Martha did. She just didn't let it knock her out of the running. She can't change the odds however by going public she just opened up her dating pool to the WORLD!
Am I telling you to run and plaster your face all over the internet on every dating website? NO!! I'm merely suggesting that there is more than one way to skin a cat. Make a plan, think about what your options are. If your looking for love, are you doing anything to increase the chances that you will attract the man you want? If you said, "Well, I'm waiting for God to send me my man." You probably don't even know what to ask God to send you....I'm tired of you too. I'll save that for later. But I'll say this, instead of saying God send me a man, say God help me be who you want me to be so I'll be ready for the one you created for me, IF that is your will. Face it, everyone is not destined to be married.
At the end of the day Martha may not find a mate no matter how many responses she gets but at the very least, she will get some responses, meet some good people, have a few laughs, and come away with some good stories to tell...all at 71.
So if your single and you think you can compete with Martha I say step your game up and get out there. If you keep ending up in bad relationships maybe you need to take a time out and figure out what's really going on. It can save you some time, energy and emotion.
Pursue YOU, not a RELATIONSHIP! CHANCES ARE, WHEN YOU FIND YOU, SO WILL YOUR MAN!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)