When you KNOW what you DON'T LIKE, STOP LIKING IT!

This is my saying for those who find themselves reliving the same experiences from one relationship to the next.  There's always a "next" because those same things that broke up your last relationship are the same ones that will break up your current one....and the one after, unless you take steps to prevent that.

If you know you didn't like the fact that the last brotha wasn't working, then you aren't going to like the fact that this one isn't either. If you didn't like the fact that your last man didn't have a car and you had to drive everywhere, my hunch is that you'll soon grow tired of playing chauffeur to this one too.  So why spend the time? Look deeper.  Why do you regularly pick these men that seem to have these issues, and then find yourself frustrated and upset?  Is it that you feel lonely? Do you feel incomplete when not in a relationship?  What connection, if any, do you feel you really have with this person?  All these questions help us to grow in understanding ourselves and how we get to what we really desire. 

Being a nurturer, I too have been caught up in trying to do my part in relationship but somehow crossing over the line and assuming roles and responsibilities that should have belonged to my partner.  I was able to sustain for a while but then, I got tired.  Once I gave up those extra responsibilities the relationship either thrived or it ended or in some cases both.  Ultimately, everyone has a role to play.  I believe after a certain age boys should try to be men. It happens sooner rather than later for some, and for some it never happens, its the luck of the draw.  It happens in due time for every individual.  We are superwomen like Alicia Keys said, but we just don't have the ability to speed up time and make our partners realize the importance of, I don't know, having a job and a car. 

So, when figure out what you don't like, never settle for it again. If you find yourself in a relationship and realize, uh oh, I'm liking what I don't like, STOP! Go immediately to your best friend and talk it out over drinks and then plan your exit.  :) It's not worth getting your blood pressure up.